Coincidence? I think not! by Gurmat Randhawa

According to Wikipedia, a conspiracy theory attempts to attribute the ultimate cause of an event (usually major political, social, historical, or cultural events), chain of events, or the concealment of causes from public knowledge, to a secret and often deceptive plan by a group of people or organizations. 

Basically, it means that conspiracy theorists try to find hidden meanings and/or hidden motives to explain certain major events. Popular conspiracy theories include John F. Kennedy’s assassination, Area 51, Man on the Moon and many more. Here is a list of conspiracy theories that may change the way you look at the world.

Paul is Dead.

So apparently Paul McCartney died in 1966. And the Beatles covered it up by hiring a look-alike who looked, sang AND behaved like him. But, they eventually felt guilty about deceiving the fans and started hiding clues in their music and album covers. So the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album was allegedly full of references to Paul’s alleged death. For example, the song “A Day in the Life” when played backwards sounds like “Paul is dead, miss him, miss him”. Also, the cover of the Abbey Road album apparently shows John, George and Ringo crossing the street as a funeral procession. John wearing white symbolising a clergyman; Ringo wearing black symbolising a mourner; and George wearing jeans symbolising a gravedigger. Paul was not wearing any shoes, and walked out of step with the others, symbolising him being dead. However, John Lennon has denied the existence of any hidden messages in either album covers or in their music.

Paul? Fake Paul?

NASA faked the moon landings.

The story goes that in a bid to defeat the Russians in the space race, NASA faked the landings on the moon. It was supposedly filmed on a film set located either in the Hollywood hills or in Area 51. The origin of this theory is the part of the film which shows Aldrin planting a waving American flag on the moon. This should not be possible as the moon has no atmosphere, just vacuum. Also any and all visual material related to the landings is only provided through NASA, so there can be no independent verification whatsoever. The best part? That Stanley Kubrick apparently helped them fake it because he had experience from making 2001: A Space Odyssey. So all the moon rocks the astronauts brought back? You decide.

You can see the strings people!!-Phoebe from Friends

Lizard People Rule the World

Ever heard of a guy named David Icke? This former BBC sports presenter believes that our world is actually controlled by shape-shifting extra terrestrials or ‘lizard people’. He claims that these people are part of a network of interbreeding bloodlines with extra terrestrial origins. Important bloodlines include the British House of Windsor, the Rothschilds, the Rockefellers and most of European royalty. According to him this ‘Global Elite’ controls the IMF, United Nations, the media, military, science, religion and even the Internet. So, the British royal family, other royal families and most of the US government are apparently lizard people. So the next time you see George Bush, look closely. He might be one of THEM.

All hail our Lizard King!

 Secret societies control the world.

This one is in the same vein as the last one. Most of us have read Dan Brown right? Angels & Demons and the Da Vinci Code. In those books he talks about the Illuminati and the Freemasons. So this theory says that they control the world. It’s similar to Icke’s theory in that according to this theory members of these groups hold offices of power across the globe. The Illuminati are supposedly responsible for the pyramid-and-eye symbol on the dollar bill, as we all know from reading Angels & Demons. The Freemasons call themselves the oldest worldwide fraternity and list George Washington as one of its well known members. Did you know that there is a Masonic lodge on Janpath?

There is no such thing as Global Warming.

This theory says that the global climate scientist community has gotten together and created a vast body of data and literature to convince the world of a global change in climate because of unhealthy environmental practices because they want funds or indirectly political power. And the fact that the scientists of the world are divided on the whole global warming phenomenon doesn’t help. Well, atleast Al Gore got a Nobel out of it. An inconvenient truth, anyone?

And an Oscar.

The JFK Assassination

John F. Kennedy, the 35^th President of the United States, was assassinated on the 22^nd of November, 1963 in Dallas when riding in an open car. He was shot twice, in the head and in the neck. A commission under Chief Justice Earl Warren was constituted. The Warren Commission declared that the man arrested on suspicion, a Lee Harvey Oswald, was the culprit, and that he had acted alone.

However, the trajectory’s of the bullets that struck Kennedy and Dallas Governor John Connally (who was sitting in the front of him) when analysed indicated that Oswald could not have made all those shots from where he was stationed, and there must have been another shooter.  It is believed that the other shooter was stationed on the grassy knoll of Dealey Plaza. The Warren Commission and other US government agencies deny the existence of another assassin. So conspiracy theorists believe that JFK was killed as a result of a conspiracy against him. Alleged conspirators include the CIA, then Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Fidel Castro, the FBI, the Mafia and many, many more.

Battle Royale: Celluloid vs. Print by Gurmat Randhawa

A majority of the movies made nowadays are based on books, some famous examples include the Harry Potter series and *ahem* the Twilight Saga. Whenever such a movie comes out, the first question most viewers and reviewers ask/discuss is “Which is better – the book or the movie?”

The pro-book stance is usually the result of readers building up/visualising the book in their minds.  We all do it. When we read a book, we create a mental picture to accompany it, and more often than not the movie adaptation doesn’t live up to what is the consequence of our vivid imaginations.

The pro-movie point of view is usually adopted by people who haven’t read the book or even heard of it before the movie. After seeing it up on big screen in about 2 hours, it just seems like an ordeal to sit and spend a considerable amount of time reading a book of which you already know the end.

The following are some well known book to movie adaptations and what I think of them.

vs.

The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling:

(Movie series by Warner Bros.- Various Directors)

The books were definitely better. The movies so far have been dissatisfactory, often eliminating or changing parts of the story. However, this might change because the trailers of the seventh movie-parts 1&2 are looking very, very good. This might have something to do with the fact that J.K. Rowling is producing both. Fingers crossed.


[Edited to add: Deathly Hallows Part 1 is a lot better than all the other movies. There are scenes directly from the book! Awesomeness.]

 vs.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen:

(Various movie versions)

There’s no contest about this one. The movies could never quite get the essence of Austen right although the BBC miniseries adaptation came quite close. And Keira Knightley as Elizabeth didn’t feel right at all.

vs.   

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkein:

(Film adaptation by Peter Jackson)

These movies were made brilliantly. Although there were some changes and deviations from the plot, as a whole these movies brought the books to life, while retaining a separate yet complementary identity for itself. With an excellent cast and Peter Jackson at the helm, these movies are bound to become classics.

 vs.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (1960):

(Film by Robert Mulligan- 1962)

A great book and a great movie. The book won the Pulitzer and the movie won three Oscars, including a Best Actor for Gregory Peck.

vs.

Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh (1993):

(Film adaptation by Danny Boyle- 1996)

Have you tried reading the book? At the very least, it’s difficult to read and keep at without losing your patience. The film however, is an excellent adaptation, retaining the feel of the book at all times with a standout performance by Ewan McGregor and brilliant direction by Danny Boyle.

vs.

The Shining by Stephen King (1977):

(Film adaptation by Stanley Kubrick- 1980)

“HERE’S JOHNNY!” Jack Nicholson’s creepy brilliant acting along with Kubrick’s direction made the film a legend in pop culture references.

 vs.

The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri (2003):

(Film adaptation by Mira Nair- 2006)

This film had a lot of expectations to live up to. And in my opinion, it did. With brilliant acting and direction, this film brings the novel to life, in a good way.

 vs.

The Twilight Saga:

Neither. ‘Nuff said.

They Are Like This Only by Gurmat Randhawa

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Delhi wouldn’t be Delhi without its autos. Autos - though just one among the various public transport options available in the city – are a class unto themselves. These yellow and green creatures crawl through the city at all times of the day and night. They have been to places in Delhi most of us haven’t even heard of, let alone been to. This brings us to the hallowed auto drivers. These men control these machines and have at their mercy most of the general public. “Bhaiya, chalo na...” is one of the oft-repeated phrases on the street in addition to, “Kitna?”, “Nahi bhaiya, hum toh [lesser amount] mein aaye the!” and the evergreen, “Meter se chalo, bhaiya!”

That brings us to the various kinds of auto drivers. Although each auto driver is a unique piece of work, we can classify them into a few general categories.

Perpetually Angry:

These guys are, well, perpetually angry. They will yell at you if you try to bargain. They will grumble if you ask them to drop you off just a little ahead or before. They can’t handle change. The tiniest change in plans will result in them grumbling and complaining the entire journey. They usually drive rashly to vent their anger, although they are already taking it out on you. Don’t reply unless you’re up for a yelling match, because that will happen.

Perpetually Happy:

These guys are ideal and so, rare. They are always smiling, will bargain with an amused look on their face and in a gentle tone, might make a joke or comment on the current political/social scenario or the mehengayi during your ride and will thank you when you pay them. When you’re feeling talkative, strike up a conversation, they’re sometimes the best talkers, but know when to stop talking if you don’t respond. These guys are so good that you feel like paying them a little extra just for the pleasant ride.

These guys are what redeem the whole auto system in the city. People remember the good drivers, and it helps restore their faith after a molestation incident or the like which involves an auto driver. These little bright spots in the otherwise murky transport system are what make Delhi, Delhi.

Silent:

These guys, needless to say, don’t talk much. They’re the brooding, silent types romance novels thrive on. They usually don’t bargain. They just state their price; If you agree get in, if not, they don’t really care. They’re good drivers but will only grunt in reply if you ask them a question.  They will only voluntarily talk to ask you directions and sometimes not even then. They’re pretty laid back and are ready to adapt to a change in plan without much fuss.

Talkative:

These guys will not shut up. The slightest provocation to conversation will ring a bell that you can’t, no matter how hard you try, un-ring. They have opinions about everything and will not hesitate to tell you them. And when I mean everything, I mean everything. From the recently concluded Commonwealth Games to the sarkar to corruption to the weather to the police to bad drivers to the boys-and-girls of today (kuch sharam hi nahi hai!), they will talk the entire ride. Some of them keep talking and you can get away with just a polite ‘hmm..’ but there are some which expect you to participate in the conversation which can be very annoying when you’re trying to study for an assignment you have that day.

Intrusive/obscene/rude/cheats:

These guys are the dhabba on the Delhi transport system. They’re the ones you read about in newspapers, usually for molestation, rape and the like. Sharing auto horror stories is a popular pastime, not by choice but by necessity. Warning other people about the stuff that can and has happened in an auto and sharing conspiracy theories about what could have happened, these stories mostly range from the auto wallas overcharging them, to dropping them in the wrong place and insisting it’s the right one, to them masturbating while driving. Everyone has their stories, each more gruesome than the last.

There are many different kinds of auto drivers out there, a lot of them beyond the scope of this article. But whatever they are, they are essential to the city and it’s functioning. Case in point, all hell breaks loose when the autowallas strike. Buses and metro cars are jammed full; taxis exponentially increase their rates etc. The day before the strike, people make frantic phone calls to friends and colleagues for a ride to school/college/work. By the end of the day, most daily commuters are wishing and praying that there’s never an auto strike ever again. These days make us realise the true worth of these guys and their autos, which we usually take for granted.

  Jaise bhi hain, achche hain.