It is a truth universally acknowledged that Delhi wouldn’t be Delhi without its autos. Autos - though just one among the various public transport options available in the city – are a class unto themselves. These yellow and green creatures crawl through the city at all times of the day and night. They have been to places in Delhi most of us haven’t even heard of, let alone been to. This brings us to the hallowed auto drivers. These men control these machines and have at their mercy most of the general public. “Bhaiya, chalo na...” is one of the oft-repeated phrases on the street in addition to, “Kitna?”, “Nahi bhaiya, hum toh [lesser amount] mein aaye the!” and the evergreen, “Meter se chalo, bhaiya!”
That brings us to the various kinds of auto drivers. Although each auto driver is a unique piece of work, we can classify them into a few general categories.
Perpetually Angry:
These guys are, well, perpetually angry. They will yell at you if you try to bargain. They will grumble if you ask them to drop you off just a little ahead or before. They can’t handle change. The tiniest change in plans will result in them grumbling and complaining the entire journey. They usually drive rashly to vent their anger, although they are already taking it out on you. Don’t reply unless you’re up for a yelling match, because that will happen.
Perpetually Happy:
These guys are ideal and so, rare. They are always smiling, will bargain with an amused look on their face and in a gentle tone, might make a joke or comment on the current political/social scenario or the mehengayi during your ride and will thank you when you pay them. When you’re feeling talkative, strike up a conversation, they’re sometimes the best talkers, but know when to stop talking if you don’t respond. These guys are so good that you feel like paying them a little extra just for the pleasant ride.
These guys are what redeem the whole auto system in the city. People remember the good drivers, and it helps restore their faith after a molestation incident or the like which involves an auto driver. These little bright spots in the otherwise murky transport system are what make Delhi, Delhi.
Silent:
These guys, needless to say, don’t talk much. They’re the brooding, silent types romance novels thrive on. They usually don’t bargain. They just state their price; If you agree get in, if not, they don’t really care. They’re good drivers but will only grunt in reply if you ask them a question. They will only voluntarily talk to ask you directions and sometimes not even then. They’re pretty laid back and are ready to adapt to a change in plan without much fuss.
Talkative:
These guys will not shut up. The slightest provocation to conversation will ring a bell that you can’t, no matter how hard you try, un-ring. They have opinions about everything and will not hesitate to tell you them. And when I mean everything, I mean everything. From the recently concluded Commonwealth Games to the sarkar to corruption to the weather to the police to bad drivers to the boys-and-girls of today (kuch sharam hi nahi hai!), they will talk the entire ride. Some of them keep talking and you can get away with just a polite ‘hmm..’ but there are some which expect you to participate in the conversation which can be very annoying when you’re trying to study for an assignment you have that day.
Intrusive/obscene/rude/cheats:
These guys are the dhabba on the Delhi transport system. They’re the ones you read about in newspapers, usually for molestation, rape and the like. Sharing auto horror stories is a popular pastime, not by choice but by necessity. Warning other people about the stuff that can and has happened in an auto and sharing conspiracy theories about what could have happened, these stories mostly range from the auto wallas overcharging them, to dropping them in the wrong place and insisting it’s the right one, to them masturbating while driving. Everyone has their stories, each more gruesome than the last.
There are many different kinds of auto drivers out there, a lot of them beyond the scope of this article. But whatever they are, they are essential to the city and it’s functioning. Case in point, all hell breaks loose when the autowallas strike. Buses and metro cars are jammed full; taxis exponentially increase their rates etc. The day before the strike, people make frantic phone calls to friends and colleagues for a ride to school/college/work. By the end of the day, most daily commuters are wishing and praying that there’s never an auto strike ever again. These days make us realise the true worth of these guys and their autos, which we usually take for granted.
Jaise bhi hain, achche hain.
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